Well, there's so much things I want to share.. :)
after passing last months, lots of things happened, even is happening still..
Let's see.. it's November now.. Praise Lord for that.. :)
Uhm, last month.. October..
I've been through a difficult times of my life..
Well, at that moment I was in pain, inside.. I was hurt.
Couldn't describe it in words, how did it feel..
that time I was like faarrr away from God... I was kinda like blaming God, like why did this happen to me? why didn't He protect me? He said He love me, but WHY?
yes. WHY.. It was my first question..
I was struggling with my exams when it happened..
Then I told God, "why did You do this to me? when I really have my exam? You do this to me, God?"
I was selfish..
Then I decided to ask suggestions from a sister that i know..
She said to me, "vi.. we never know what God's plans for our lives.. He knows the best for us.. This is His trail for you.. He wants you to be grow more in Him and have stronger faith in Him... Trust Him, read His words more, and listen to Him.." then she asked me this question ;
"Vi.. after what happened, do you still believe in Christ?" ..
that time i was crying, i was in pain.. not the hurt pain anymore, I realized how selfish i was..
i mean, I was blaming me for things that happened to me, which I didn't know what was God's purpose for that..
I cried and cried.. I asked her, "Sis.. do you think God will forgive me?"
She said "of course she will dear.. draw closer to Him.. He'll show you the way of light.."
after everything happened, I just did my exams with all my best. thou sometimes things just got into my head and i thought about it too much..
I was too worried about my exams.. I was worried that I actually would failed.
I prayed before I did the exams. I said to Him that please bless this paper, I surrendered all to Him and no matter happens is all by His grace.
I was very worried about my add math especially, math and Physics.. and actually other subjects.. because I knew that I couldn't do or even get A* or A like all my friends.. I was in FEAR. FEAR of LOSS.. I didn't get much times study for my add math, I was too nervous therefore whatever I studied couldn't go into my head, my brain.. I was too scared.. scared of FALL. failing.
After the short of studying times that we student had because our exam's date was pushed forward because of certain thing, 2 weeks has gone.. finally we finished our exams.
the next week (which is this week) we got our papers back.. I wasn't hope that much, (well yeah) .. I praise God, that I actually got better exam result than last semester. they weren't as bad as I thought. well except for my Math and Add Math and Physics. I asked my teachers, they both said I've done well, really well even this is better than last semester.
I was not satisfy, but I thank God for that. for all my subjects overall I really am thankful to God.
I learnt that actually when we surrender all we have to God, He will do the remaining.. He will do the rest.. We need no worry too much..
God is doing a really great planning in my life.. even though I don't know what is it. but now I want to fix my eyes and heart just to Him.. I want to really commit to Him, and I want to see the other miracles that coming towards my life. and my family <3
look, I am having problem with my friends. some misunderstanding, it hurts me a lot when I know about this. maybe i have done wrong things.. but i have never been told..
Friendship problems always happen to me, I don't know why..
God seems has His own planning for me, maybe He wants me to know more about friends, so I am facing these kind of problems..
thou it's hurts, A LOT.. but i am gonna face it, it's a grace.
Grace. yeah, If i am baptized one day I want my name to be Grace. I am a Grace, by God.
My friend told me, he said. God wants me to get through this because He wants me to be more stronger, and more matured. I just want these misunderstandings to be Over.. I am doing my best to solve this..
Thank You God, for giving me chances to learn from my own LIFE. from experience that You gave to me.. :)
Check Jayesslee concert in City Harvest Church guys. It's awesome. the testimony life that they shared. wow. I am inspired by them :)
They said .. "no matter what happens, do not betray God.." :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6u7Ps5SpzXA&feature=related
thank you for reading my blog! :)
May God Bless you all.. Keep REJOICE for the Lord :)
He always knows what's best for us even in the MOST BITTER stages our lives in. :)
Be strong :)
"when life is hard, lift you head up a little bit. because there's when God is closest to you.. " :')
